Have I found the straw that broke the camel’s back? Me being the camel, of course. I don’t know, but I’m camped out on my bed, proppped up on pillows, resting my aching back. My chiropractor would tell me, I’m sure, to lie down on the floor, my favorite position of late, but I’ve been on a tear this morning getting lots of things done after a rather unproductive household and “me” week, and I don’t want to stop.
Hmm…another straw maybe? The desire to keep going even when it’s against my best interests, physically.
I wrote that section yesterday when I was propped up in bed, listening to the birds chirp and the washer run, and writing. I soon stopped though. Kiddo needed something or another. The dryer dinged and the work clothes needed to be hung up before they wrinkled. Hubby and I got into a tiff about the loudness of the TV I was watching when he decided it was time to nap. I certainly didn’t listen to my body and go to bed early. I am certainly paying for it now.
Why is it that I rarely stop when I have physical issues? I work through migraines until I drop. I was still moving shelves and boxes around with an aching back last week. (Don’t snitch to my chiropractor, I lready told him. :D)
I rarely keep going when I hit a mental bump in the road. Just this morning I didn’t listen to the Universe and instead of completing my half-finished blog posts and starting on my new Reiki web pages, I started poking around the Internet about my online store and other people’s Reiki websites.
CRASH BANG BOOM
That was the sound of my confidence hitting the ground.
- Will my site be as good (or better)?
- Wil really get Reiki clients?
- Will I realy get Reiki students?
- Will the money we need really come in through my planned endeavors or will I need to start working as the door greeter at Walmart? (Not a bad job, mind you, but the farthest I can think of from what I want to be doing.)
All forward progress ground to a halt so fast my psyche almost got whiplash. I wallowed in self-despair for a bit (a short bit) and then I started reconstruction. I
- made myself a high-protein snack since I really was hungry and treated myself to some iced tea.
- took time to take care of my back and laid on the floor and used an ice pack on my neck.
- played on Facebook for a while.
- IMed with my dad at the same time.
- started reorgannizing my website. There were some small maintenance issued I had been avoiding, so I fixed them.
- reminded myself that I could only eat the elephant one bite at a time, so I’d better just start with one bite.
- started writing this blog post.
Now I feel better and back on track. Maybe not at the same speed I was running this morning, but moving forward nonetheless. Next up is to finish all the half-completed blog posts and get them scheduled for publication and start on the reiki pages.
I hate humping all those straws around, especially that final one that causes me to crash. (Get it? Hump? Camel? Oh come on, that was good!)
What do you do when your confidence goes crashing? How do you get yourself back on track? Leave a comment and let me know, wouldja?