It’s OK to be Reasonably OK

That sounds weird, doesn’t it?

But it’s true.

I’m learning to be OK with being reasonably OK. I don’t have to be perfect. I can be happy NOT being perfect. It’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK Xanax Online to receive help. It’s reasonable not to be perfect, to ask for help, and to accept that help.

Here’s my Facebook status for today:

It’s a joyous thing. I’m headed off to bed feeling full and complete.


Dog Tired

I like how my dog just flops down on the floor and falls asleep. Then he gets up and moves to the dog bed for a while. Then to the couch. Back to the floor.

I like how he simply decides he’s tired and falls asleep. Quickly.

Roscoe Resting

I don’t fall asleep quickly. I will flop down on the couch or the bed. But quickly asleep? Not so much.

I’ve always been this way. I remember as a kid my mind would churn and the mixmaster in my brain would take forever to turn off.

Fast forward upteen years. Add in sleep apnea.

Yeah, welcome to my life. Takes forever to fall asleep and then sleep apnea continually wakes me up. I’m grumpy. Grouchy. Quick to anger. Certainly not very patient.

I do have a CPAP machine. I just got a brand spanking new one on Tuesday. CPAP stands for continuous positive air pressure. It, combined with a mask, provides pressurized air flow down my throat, preventing the soft tissue from collapsing while relaxed in sleep, and allowing me to breathe. No snorting awake. No snoring to keep me and the hubster awake. Allowing the rest of my body to relax and recharge.

I also have a new mask. The golden mask. The mask of wonderfulness. The most awesomest mask in the history of CPAP masks. It was made for side sleepers like VolumePills me. Ahh…I can roll over and not knock the mask from my face or break the seal surrounding my nose. I can roll over and stay asleep! Oh! Joy! Oh! Joy!

I am almost at nirvana.

You see. The company that provided me the machine set my air pressure setting at what it was originally prescribed for five years ago. Over time, with weight gain and mask issues, I have slowly, on my own, adjusted it upwards. Not alot, but enough. So, with the new machine and mask, I started off where it “should” officially be, but not where it “should” really be. At the old setting, I’m still snorting, snoring, and generally waking myself and husband up and neither of us is getting a good night’s sleep.

Some of you might tell me to go get another sleep study. And you would be right. I should, but I won’t. I’d rather save the time, money, anxiety, and aggravation and adjust it slowly on my own. (You can find almost anything on the internet, including the clinician’s instructions.)

I am increasing it a half pound of pressure a night until I get it right. It’s almost there. Maybe tonight will be the night.

Tonight is for nirvana.

I hope.

This is my “D” entry for the A-Z Blog Challenge. I am a little behind. Sleep deprivation will do that to ya!


I Could

If I wanted to, I could:

  • Clean the bathroom
  • Clean the other bathroom
  • Clean the kitchen
  • Wash the kitchen floor
  • Dust my bedroom, or just the corner where the CPAP lives
  • Rinse out the pieces for new CPAP so they don’t smell funny like the factory
  • Finish cutting out all the hair and string in the beaters of the vacuum
  • Finish vacuuming the house

Instead I choose:

  • To snuggle with the dog on the couch
  • To sip my coffee
  • To enjoy the cleanliness of the living room and ignore the clutter elsewhere
  • To take a few moments to write a few words
  • To notice the cool spring breeze blowing in the window
  • To enjoy a few moments of peace
  • To not “should” on myself

Don’t “should” on my parade!

Using the word “should” implies failure on some level. “I should clean the bathroom” translates to “I am wrong for doing something else instead of cleaning the bathroom.” Should implies a duty, an obligation. When I use the word should and I am not doing the activity in the should statement, I feel guilty, wrong. Anxious sometimes. Not filled with internal peace. Certainly not very self-accepting.

So, following the wonderful advice in this cialis and vigrx book, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay, I turn it around.

Instead of “I should clean the bathroom.”

It becomes “If I wanted to, I could clean the bathroom.” And I don’t want to right now. I choose to do something else at this moment (like writing this blog post) and I am full of gratitude that I have the option (because when people are coming to visit in five minutes and the kid has strewn mud all over the sink, I often don’t think I have the option–even though I do. They can deal with some mud if need be, right?). I am accepting of myself, that taking the time to write is valued. That just sitting and being is OK, good even.

And when I am accepting of myself, I am at peace with myself.

(This is my “C” entry in the A-Z challenge. Yes, those are affiliate links. I would earn a penny or two towards the cost of this site if you happened to purchase the book from those links.)

Here’s the link to the book at Barnes & Noble, and save a few pennies:

I love this book. I use it all the time.


Beginning Peace

Stepping stone serenity

It starts in drips and drabs. The blooming of consciousness in situations that things aren’t what one wants them to be. The seeing of small things to change. The seeking of knowledge and slowly, oh so slowly, gathering courage and learning to apply that knowledge. Taking the chance to do something different. Something new Semenax. Changing the patterns. Switching things up in the dance. Failing. Trying again. Learning. Slowly gaining confidence. Failing in different ways each time. Learning that failure is simply a perception. Changing the perception. Changing the situations. New moves in the dance. Conflicts resolved and all are satisfied. Everyone feels heard and understood. Peaceful. hmm…success?


About Peace

In my view, peace is not the absence of conflict. Conflict is inevitable. It’s how we handle conflict that creates peace.

From our smallest children learning to play together, to families, to neighborhoods, to cities, counties, states, and nations we all have inherent needs. Sometimes those needs are in opposition to another’s needs, creating conflict. What we do next, what choices we make, how we choose to act then creates peace or escalates the conflict.

Michael J. Fox said in his Parade Magazine interview today when asked what advice he gives his children:

When we go out the door in the morning, choose happiness. … Try to go for the loving response to any situation. Recognize olga kurylenko camel toe pokies pubics that the other person has feelings and something at stake, too.

The complete interview is not online, unfortunately.

I try to choose empathy. First self-empathy, a check in with myself to see where I’m coming from. I look for what is triggering me and what needs of mine aren’t being met in a given situation. Then I try to empathise with what the other person and guess what their needs might be. By being honest with myself and being open and receptive to the other person, I know that I have interacted with honor and respect and trust. That creates peace, though we still may need to do some work to resolve the conflict.


Davidson Interfaith Day

Join the Lake Norman community in celebrating our similarities and our differences at the first annual Davidson Interfaith Day, celebrated by people of all ages and all faiths.

Initiated by the Daughters of Abraham, an interfaith youth group for girls ages 11-14, and supported by the Jewish Council of Lake Norman, the Charlotte Jewish Film Festival, Davidson College Interfaith Fellowship, Kids4Peace and the Town of Davidson, Davidson Interfaith Day brings together the people of our diverse community to create awareness and spread good faith.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

12 noon with pizza at the Davidson Village Green
12:45 pm Walk for Peace in Davidson
2:00 pm free screening of “David the Movie” at Davidson College

We’ll be there!