It was a long afternoon in Chez Thompson. A long, long afternoon. The kid and I got into a situation over the removal of items from my desk without my permission. I’ll spare you the details since I got bored writing them. Suffice it to say, it went from frustrating, to bad, to worse, to worse, to better, and finally to great. I’m so grateful for the great.
Frustrating: When I realized things were missing from my desk. Taken without permission.
Bad: His reaction to me asking for them back. Nonviolent communication was rebuffed with “blah, blah, blah” [heavy sigh]
Worse: my reaction [oh, the shame]
Worse: his reaction [how dare he act that way, speak to me that way, etc. You get the picture.]
Better: With patience and perseverance, we were able to have a compassionate discussion about how I felt about the situation and my needs AND he was able to share his thoughts and feelings and needs.
Great: We both worked on a solution so that he could have the items he wanted, and I still had a measure of organization on my desk. We both felt valued and heard.
We had a great evening after all of that!
I found this Parenting With Nonviolent Communication (NVC) video about connecting with your child and how to turn their “no’s” into something you can both work with. I picked up a few pointers for next time (’cause you know there will be one!)
How have you turned parenting failures into a win for both parties?